The Overthinking Trap: How to Stop Holding It All at Once and Start Moving Forward

As we go through life, most of us learn how to take responsibility for ourselves, for our choices, our relationships, and how we show up in the world. We’re told, “Nothing is impossible!” and “Shoot for the stars!” and there’s so much beauty in dreaming big.

But here’s something we don’t talk about enough: big dreams can also carry big pressure.

When we dare to pursue things that stretch us, projects that push us into unknown territory and challenge who we’ve been, we become more susceptible to what I call the overthinking trap. We try to hold the weight of the entire dream, goal, or project all at once and then feel surprised when we buckle under its weight.

The Silent Weight That Shuts Us Down

When you focus on tackling every moving piece of a big dream all at once, it’s like asking your brain to juggle a thousand puzzle pieces before you’ve even laid down the edges. Your mind races from one “what if” to another:
“What if I make the wrong decision?”
“What if I miss something important?”
“What if I fail and everyone sees it?”

All of this mental load flips your brain’s breaker switch. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that your nervous system goes into survival mode.

When your brain senses that the demand is bigger than your perceived capacity to handle it, your body responds with stress signals: racing thoughts, tension in your shoulders, jaw, or chest, a foggy mind that can’t seem to focus on anything, even the simplest task.

In this state, your body is trying to protect you by hitting the brakes. And here’s the twist: this is when procrastination sneaks in, disguised as self-preservation.

Procrastination isn’t always laziness, often, it’s your mind’s attempt to reduce the overload so you can feel safe again. It’s the brain’s way of saying, “If we just do nothing right now, we won’t mess up, we won’t fail, we won’t disappoint anyone.”

So you pull back. You watch Netflix. You clean the kitchen instead of sending the email. You scroll your phone instead of making the call. And then, inevitably, guilt sets in: “Why can’t I just do it? What’s wrong with me?” But the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just trying to hold too much, too soon.

Your big dream ends up sitting untouched, not because you’re unmotivated, incompetent, or undisciplined, but because your brain and body are trying to carry an entire mountain, when all they really need to focus on is the next step on the trail.

When you understand this, you can have so much more compassion for yourself. You see that procrastination is not a moral failing, it’s a sign you need to lighten the load. It’s an invitation to break it down, take one piece at a time, and build safety and confidence as you go.

How to Break the Cycle of Overthinking and Overload

The secret to keeping your momentum and your peace of mind is much simpler than we think. Yet so many of us overlook it because we’re taught to glorify “big action” and “doing it all.” The real magic? Break it down.

No matter how big your dream or project feels, it will only ever come to life one step at a time. You don’t need to hold the whole mountain at once, you just need to take the next step on the trail.

Here’s how to actually do that when you feel stuck:

1. Identify the Next Step, Not the Whole Plan

When your mind is tangled up in a million “what ifs,” your job is to zoom in.

Ask yourself:
What’s the one thing I can do today that would move this forward?
What’s the biggest priority or decision I can make right now?

For example, maybe you want to start your own business. Your brain wants to figure out your entire business plan, website, marketing, and five-year vision all in one night, but that’s what fries your circuits. What’s the next loose thread you can pull on?

It could be researching a single local licensing requirement. Or writing down your ideal client in one paragraph. Or scheduling a call with a mentor to ask one question.

Small, clear, doable. That’s the goal.

2. Focus on Priorities, Not Endless Possibilities

Over-thinkers love to ask: “But what if I choose the wrong thing to work on first?”

Here’s the truth: the only “wrong” move is doing nothing at all. Progress isn’t about choosing the perfect step, it’s about choosing the most impactful one right now.

Try asking:
What action would remove the biggest obstacle in my way?
What choice would make everything else a bit easier?

When you focus on what matters most, instead of trying to control every possible outcome, you free up mental space for real action.

3. Make It So Small You Can’t Say No

If you still feel resistance or overwhelm, shrink it down again.

Your brain and body need to feel safe. If “write a whole presentation” feels impossible today, then just write one bullet point. If “launch the entire website” feels too big, design the homepage header.

Tiny steps compound. The goal is to build trust with yourself that you do take action, one micro-move at a time.

4. Celebrate Small Wins to Build Momentum

Your brain loves rewards, they tell your nervous system, “We’re safe. We’re capable. We’re making progress.”

Every small win deserves a moment of recognition: check off that step on your list, tell a supportive friend you did it, give yourself five minutes of fresh air, music, or a stretch break to anchor it in.

These small celebrations keep you moving. You feel the satisfaction of completion instead of the weight of never-ending work.

5. A Gentle Reminder: You Don’t Have to Hold It All

When you break things down, you lighten the silent weight that keeps you frozen in overthinking. You give your mind permission to breathe. You build momentum and confidence, step by step. And you prove to yourself that you don’t have to be perfect or “ready” to take action. You just have to be willing to take the next small step and trust that the path will reveal itself along the way.

Just Decide, Then Learn As You Go

One of the sneakiest reasons we stay stuck in overthinking is because it feels productive. We convince ourselves that if we just think through every possible scenario, we’ll somehow avoid all the discomfort that comes with stretching into something new.

We tell ourselves: “If I can plan for every hiccup, setback, or unexpected twist, then I’ll be safe. I won’t mess up. I won’t fail.” But here’s the hard truth: overthinking doesn’t prevent problems, it prevents action. You can’t think your way into a perfect outcome. You can’t avoid every challenge or mistake and the irony is, you don’t need to.

Action Creates Clarity, Not the Other Way Around

Confidence doesn’t magically appear before you decide, it grows after you take the leap.

Think about the times in your life when you felt most sure of yourself. Chances are, you gained that self-trust by doing something new, navigating bumps, figuring things out on the fly, and proving to yourself that you could handle it.

You didn’t wait to feel 100% confident before your first day in a new job. You didn’t know exactly how to handle every tough conversation in a relationship before you had one. You learned through doing. Your brain wants certainty before you move, but life doesn’t work that way. Action builds the evidence that you can handle the unknown. It gives you real feedback to adjust, improve, and grow.

Most “Problems” Aren’t as Big as They Feel

Here’s something that might help you exhale: so many of the problems you’re trying to predict in your head won’t even unfold the way you imagine. When you sit still in overthinking, your brain loves to magnify every possible worst-case scenario:

“What if they say no?”
“What if I mess up and look foolish?”
“What if I can’t handle it?”

But when you’re actually in motion, these “problems” usually shrink down to manageable, solvable moments:
A “no” might lead you to a better fit or an unexpected opportunity.
A mistake might turn into a lesson that strengthens your process next time.
A setback might help you find a creative solution you’d never have discovered otherwise.

In real life, most challenges are not catastrophic, they’re bumps in the road you navigate as you go, not before. Trying to find the flawless plan is exhausting, It keeps you in a loop of researching, second-guessing, and waiting for the “right moment” that never comes.

The truth is, there’s rarely a single “right” decision there’s just the decision you make now, and the growth you get from what happens next. When you give yourself permission to just decide, you free yourself from the burden of perfection. You trust that no matter what, you’ll adjust and learn along the way because you always have.

Action is the Antidote to Fear

Every time you choose action over overthinking, you prove to yourself: You don’t need all the answers right now, you can handle discomfort and uncertainty and you’re capable of figuring things out as you go.

That’s how real confidence is built, not from over-preparing for every possible outcome, but from showing up, making the next best decision, and trusting yourself to handle what comes up on the other side.

So next time you catch yourself spiraling in the “what ifs,” ask: What decision can I make right now?
What step can I take to learn something real instead of guessing in circles?

Decide. Act. Learn. Adjust. Repeat.